the interview...

Ok, I would like to take this chance to clear a few things up and set some shit straight. This is probably the most profound thing I'll write and I have a feeling next time I feel shitty I'll completely contradict every sentence that is about to follow. But hey, that's just how it goes.
I just spent some time reading my old blog entries on Xanga. (I read so much of other people's shit that I forgot about my own). Anyways, I'm a hypocrite. I single out others for things they have felt when really I'm just like them. I have four years of stuff I can't even describe written in that blog. I've gone from being a little innocent (in all sense of the word) girl to a sad, mean, unforgiving person in those four little years. It's amazing to look back and to also realize that I'm a completely different person than I was even two years ago when the last entry was written.
Let's get this straight both for you and I. (But mostly for ME).

I AM NOT a sad person anymore.
I have nothing to be sad about. I don't have people dragging me down. I don't have people who abuse and betray me. I don't have to sit there "pieced up in sorrow" like my blog name states. Sure, I get upset! I'm a freaking emotional person. One wrong word can drag me down, but that usually doesn't last long. There is no huge problems in my way and there is NOTHING to sit and regret.
For a person my age, I'm super lucky. I have what most people don't. Yes, I don't have much physically, but emotionally I've got it cut out for me. There should never be a day where I feel like I don't matter. Never. That would be a lie.
As I (used to) sit here and read about people's sad, sorry lives I began to understand that I'm so much better off. So it sucked for them at one point, BUT it doesn't suck for me so WHY should I dwell in their sorrows?! I have a chance and I'm going to take it. It's not even a chance. There is no right or wrong. It is all right and my only problem is giving into it. I have to fight myself in order to give into something that is good for me unlike in the past where I had a love for getting myself screwed over. There is no dark tunnel, no fog, no confusion. The only thing stopping me is in my head. But I do admit when I give in and just breathe in when I give it my all, is when I feel perfect. That's when I feel happy and complete.

I like to say I'm mature. I take pride in being a lot more smarter than most people my age, but I can honestly say that sometimes I'm below standards. I should know better than to act that way. I'm not alone anymore and my feelings/thoughts turned into actions don't only affect me anymore and I can't allow myself to hurt people who I care about. The people who made me realize all this.

That was deep, and I won't discuss it with anyone in person (hence the fact that I wrote it).
I should write a movie script. Sick, twisted and completely insane.
Yes, that's me and the inside of my head. But hey, I knew something good would come out of it.

Damn, I'm good.

...and I would be even better if I went to bed.
Goodnight.

For a change, I'll refrain
From hiding all of me from you
Here's my lullaby
Pray for rain, lose your name
And watch all your dreams fall through
Hush now, don't you cry